Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Half princess, half menace.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,267

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Spotted on Messenger:

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

Making waves on Twitch:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Trending via WeChat:

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

Going viral on Discord:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Going viral on Discord:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

Just landed via YouTube:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your boss keeps confusing your work ethic with turning water into wine 🍷😇 #PromotionPending

boss, calls, christ, delusional, head, humor, i, Jesus, Jesus Christ, keeps, me, misunderstanding, nickname, shaking, shaking head, think, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

0

2 months ago

death, dude, food, hot, hot wing, humor, Icarus, irony, joke, killed, people, wing, wings
Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, anticipation, emotion, ever, frustration, humor, know, pre-annoyed, sarcasm, someone
I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

0

2 months ago

communication, disturb, do not disturb, humor, i, interaction, irony, key, phone, procrastination, social, social interaction
They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

0

2 months ago

asking, asleep, humor, irony, question, sleep, stupid, stupid question, thing, wake
Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

0

2 weeks ago

care, grok, humor, indifference, just, love, people, personification, reply, sometimes, summon
We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

0

2 months ago

activity, announcement, back, fun, fun activity, love, movie, plan, putting, random, secret, surprise, tell, theater, Tuesday, unexpected, Wednesday

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Twitch this month:

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

64 shares on Telegram this month:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

45 shares on Discord this month:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

95 shares on TikTok this month:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

58 shares on Slack this month:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

What are y’all gonna do when those labubus come to life and start biting y’alls ankles?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Just overheard someone describe their hike as “it was like mountain climbing, but flat”.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

He’s called James Cameron because he turns the camera on.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

Shared recently on TikTok:

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

Spotted on WeChat:

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Making waves on Threads:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Spreading quickly via X:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

Going viral on TikTok:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Going bananas on Snapchat:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Making waves on Instagram:

I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

Going viral on Facebook:

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨