Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.
  • If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.
  • Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.
  • If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.
  • Body by sandwich.
  • My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.