Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"If only burning calories could be as effortless as consuming them 🍔💤 Maybe we should invent a workout routine that involves napping and overeating – then we'd all be fitness experts in no time! 💪😴🍕"

day, eating, exercise, fitness, humor, i, laziness, love, napping, rest, serving, serving size, size, snack, times, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

0

2 months ago

bigger, bigger problems, comparison, creativity, honesty, humor, i, new, problems, quaint, sarcasm, solutions, solve
If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

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2 months ago

Adam, creation, God, humor, irony, mankind, religion, sterilization, turn
Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

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2 months ago

1, 2, beverage, create, dairy, forbidden, humor, joke, milk, mixing, playful, pun, quirky
I don’t expect everything handed to me, just set it down outside my door.

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2 months ago

convenience, delivery, door, everything, expectation, humor, i, irony, just, laziness, me, outside
That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

0

2 months ago

act, act normal, anxiety, awkward, awkward moment, buying, funny situation, innocence, leave, moment, normal, situation, social, social anxiety, store, think
Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

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2 months ago

brand, choice, choices, excited, humor, life, life choice, new, questioning, reflection, sarcasm, self, self-reflection, super, week

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

27 shares on X this month:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

92 shares on X this month:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Hi, I’m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Going viral on Reddit:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

Spotted on Instagram:

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Just landed via X:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

Spotted on WeChat:

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

I don’t expect everything handed to me, just set it down outside my door.

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨