Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.
  • If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.
  • “Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.
  • Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.
  • Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!
  • Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.