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Commentary:
"If I win the lottery, I'm buying four politicians and some really nice shoes. 🤑💼 Because sometimes you need to dress up the chaos with a touch of style and a sprinkle of power! 💸👠 #LifeGoals"

buying, humor, i, lottery, money, nice, politician, politicians, satire, sh, spending, wealth, win

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94 shares on Discord this month:

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

14 shares on Slack this month:

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

83 shares on Slack this month:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

If consuming too much caffeine causes short-term memory loss, just imagine what consuming too much caffeine can do.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

I love doing research. I will look up some stuff in a minute.

Live now on Snapchat:

Saying “This reminds me of my early work,” as I walk past a Rothko.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

Freshly posted on Discord:

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

Live now on Snapchat:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

Just landed via X:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

Going viral on Telegram:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Just shared via Threads:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Just landed via Reddit:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

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If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

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Wordgag ツ

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If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

Keep the laugh going 😂

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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