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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

Humanity doesnโ€™t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has bookmarked:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡พ has shared:

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ถ has bookmarked:

My company promotes diversity. Weโ€™d never hire twins.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has bookmarked:

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡จ has copied:

One day youโ€™re young and fun and the next youโ€™re saying, โ€œWhat kind of trees are those?โ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

You donโ€™t scare me, I was married once.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,475

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I donโ€™t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Going viral on WeChat:

Does my career know that Iโ€™m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Summer is the best because thereโ€™s always a chance Iโ€™ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

Just shared via Slack:

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

Making waves on WeChat:

My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.

Making waves on Facebook:

Pretty sure theyโ€™re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Just landed via Snapchat:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesnโ€™t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Spotted on Discord:

If thereโ€™s one thing Iโ€™m good at, itโ€™s being annoyed by stupidity.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Twitter is basically introverts gone wild.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

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Commentary:
"If I win the lottery, I'm buying four politicians and some really nice shoes. ๐Ÿค‘๐Ÿ’ผ Because sometimes you need to dress up the chaos with a touch of style and a sprinkle of power! ๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿ‘  #LifeGoals"

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Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars โญ

55 shares on X this month:

Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

78 shares on Facebook this month:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriendโ€™s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My reality check bounced, guess Iโ€™ll have to stay insane for the time being.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

Blackout curtains because Iโ€™ll decide what time it is.

45 shares on X this month:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

61 shares on WeChat this month:

No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

51 shares on X this month:

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

5 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

My favorite pirate song is โ€œAye of the Tigerโ€

9 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

16 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

8 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and itโ€™ll be called Litterboxd.

8 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,668

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ป has downloaded:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

Canโ€™t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ต has bookmarked:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

“Unc” is short for “unclear.” It’s unclear what it means. “Uncle” is short for “unclear” as well.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ธ has copied:

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡จ has bookmarked:

It’s unfortunate that scrubbing the floors on your hands and knees is so much more effective than mopping.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has copied:

My daughterโ€™s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

Oh, I didnโ€™t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I have money, then I donโ€™t have money, it all happens so fast!

Going viral on Snapchat:

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Spotted on Telegram:

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

Trending via Facebook:

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

Making waves on Twitch:

โ€œShe’s so self-centeredโ€โ€”who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

Trending via TikTok:

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

Broadcasted on Discord:

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

Freshly posted on X:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who donโ€™t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Trending via Telegram:

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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