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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,655

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

Just landed via Reddit:

People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

Just shared via Discord:

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

Spotted on Slack:

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

Seen just now on Threads:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Trending via Threads:

I, unfortunately, was born without any interest in Avatar.

If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Wow, just turned my phone off and now I'm wondering why Britney Spears is still topping the charts and everyone wants an iPhone 1 😂📞🕺

1, 2007, day, detox, digital, digital detox, disconnect, humor, nostalgia, outside, phone, realize, still, technology, turn, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

0

2 months ago

age, dumbest, ever, humor, i, life, life stage, nostalgia, older, regret, said, stage, thing, wait, wisdom, youth
The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

0

2 months ago

always, best, fact, fairy, fairy tale, fiction, handsome, humor, intelligent, man, prince, proof, romance, single, tale
Cutting my steak at Texas Roadhouse with my car keys.

0

3 days ago

car, car key, cutting, joke, key, keys, restaurant, roadhouse, steak, substitute, Texas, Texas Roadhouse, utensil, utensil substitute
Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

0

2 months ago

decision making, even, humor, knows, me, move, next, nobody, self-awareness, surprise, uncertainty, unpredictability
I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

0

2 months ago

cause, delete, getting, growth, hours, humor, i, mature, media, over, posts, reflection, social, social media
Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

0

2 months ago

being, curse, drive, high, hopeless, hopeless romantic, humor, introvert, personality, personality traits, romantic, sex, sex drive, traits

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Reddit this month:

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

70 shares on X this month:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

41 shares on X this month:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

In university, you can literally tell who had no freedom at home.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s finally actually Saturday after just thinking it was Saturday every day for the last five days.

75 shares on Discord this month:

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

96 shares on Discord this month:

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Someone called me strict today, and that means a lot to me because I’m a recovering people pleaser.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Just shared via Telegram:

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

Just shared via Reddit:

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Eating healthy requires a second job.

Going viral on X:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

Just landed via TikTok:

The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Cutting my steak at Texas Roadhouse with my car keys.

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨