Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,312

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Imagine thinking you have all the answers.

Just shared via X:

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

Just landed via Snapchat:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Trending via TikTok:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Making waves on X:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

Making waves on Discord:

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When the sock plot twist hits harder than any TV drama! 🧦😱🤣 #LaundrySurprise"

chore, domestic, domestic humor, expression, face, floor, funny expression, funny face, glad, household, household chore, household mess, humor, i, just, laundry, machine, mess, nobody, sock, spot, washing, washing machine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Making friends as an adult is wild because there’s so much lore to catch up on. You’ll be 3 years in and still get random drops like, ‘Oh, by the way, I used to be married.’

0

3 months ago

3, adult, catch, drops, friend, friends, friendship, humor, i, life, lore, making, making friend, marriage, married, much, oh, random, social, social life, still, surprise, used, wild
I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

0

2 months ago

bumper, bumper sticker, humor, i, irony, observation, read, reading, self-deprecating, sticker, stupid
People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

0

2 months ago

bad, commentary, humor, indoors, introversion, isolation, people, social, social commentary, stay, talk
Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

0

3 weeks ago

childhood, everyone, forgetfulness, humor, landline, memory, nostalgia, number, password, people, phone, phone number, recall, shoutout, technology, yesterday
Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

0

2 months ago

away, awkward, awkward moment, bored, boredom, conversation, ever, interaction, just, moment, social, social interaction, walk, walking, walking away, wish
Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

0

2 months ago

bro, entertainment, got, humor, internet, just, phone, play, Pornhub, technology, video, virus, warning

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

13 shares on YouTube this month:

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

27 shares on Instagram this month:

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, sign up for Twitter.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Really love how dancing alone in your room can literally save your life.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

Just shared via TikTok:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Shared recently on Discord:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Sometimes I glance over at my boyfriend, and he’s just looking at Google Maps, scrolling around.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

Shared recently on Threads:

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Making friends as an adult is wild because there’s so much lore to catch up on. You’ll be 3 years in and still get random drops like, ‘Oh, by the way, I used to be married.’

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨