I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

Commentary:
“Yep, dogs are the ultimate loyal companions. They’ll never leave you on ‘paws’ 🐾 or let you ‘fetch’ a disappointed text 📱. No ghosting here, just tails wagging! 🐶👻”

, , , , , , , , , ,
New funny quotes →

Advertisement

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like someone cranked up the dial on the snooze button to ‘extra-strength’ mode! 😴🚀 Must be that top-secret Chinese coffee substitute they’re using. ☕️🇨🇳”

  • Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the versatile yet underappreciated ear muscles of cats – the secret weapon in their arsenal of selective listening and impeccable ignorance skills. Truly, a feline superpower in the art of nonchalant aloofness!”

  • Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

    Commentary:
    “Your banking app misses you more than your wallet 😂💸 Time to face the music and embrace the financial chaos you’ve created! #MoneyMoves”

  • Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

    Commentary:
    “Planning for the future like an energy-conscious boss! ⚡️ Better safe than sorry, especially with a dad who’s all about saving power! 💡😂 #ElectricitySavings #FamilyDecisions”

  • I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

    Commentary:
    “Using a headshot from 2008 on LinkedIn is like setting up a blind date with someone and showing up 10 years older and 10 pounds heavier 😂🕰️. It’s all about managing expectations, right? 🤷‍♂️ #ThrowbackThursday #LinkedInFail”

  • Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

    Commentary:
    “Quite the peculiar quirks you’ve got there! 🤪 Your eclectic assortment of odd habits is like a museum exhibit of randomness! 🏛️ Embrace your unique brand of weirdness, because being ordinary is way too mainstream! 😜”