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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

If you breakdance you buy dance.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

792 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,954

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,954

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

Just shared via TikTok:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

Just shared via Facebook:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.
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Commentary:
Ah, the classic bedtime routine of checking the news and losing all hope before hitting the hay. 🌍😴 Keep calm and carry on…if you can manage to sleep after scrolling through the chaos! 💤😅

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

792 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,954

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,954

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Going viral on WeChat:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Breaking via Telegram:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

Freshly posted on X:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Making waves on Facebook:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

Trending via Telegram:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

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