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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

428 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,697

Funny Quotes Topics

17,713

Funny Quotes Images

15,697

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,528

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Can I come over and figure you out?

Spotted on Snapchat:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Trending via Messenger:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Seen just now on Discord:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Going bananas on Slack:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

Breaking via WeChat:

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

It’s so unrealistic for me to delete WhatsApp, but man, I’d love to do it.

It’s so unrealistic for me to delete WhatsApp, but man, I’d love to do it.
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Commentary:
WhatsApp and I are in a toxic relationship—breaking up would be ideal, but we just keep texting 😂📱💔

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Threads this month:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

76 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

80 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

28 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

26 shares on X this month:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

71 shares on Threads this month:

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

82 shares on Discord this month:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

77 shares on Messenger this month:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

12 shares on WeChat this month:

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all are single because y’all are looking for 90’s love in this sick generation.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

428 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,697

Funny Quotes Topics

17,713

Funny Quotes Images

15,697

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,443

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Going viral on Reddit:

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Seen just now on Slack:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Shared recently on Discord:

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

Just shared via Telegram:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Just shared via Messenger:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

Breaking via Slack:

This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

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