Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

The year number is getting too big, let’s do another Jesus soon.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,677

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

Going viral on Threads:

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

Just shared via TikTok:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Broadcasted on Discord:

You can’t spell disappointment without me.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

Live now on WeChat:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Spotted on Twitch:

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

Just shared via Messenger:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like we've got a marshmallow emergency on our hands! 🍫🧑‍⚕️🔥

beverage, chocolate, comfort, comfort food, craving, diagnosis, extra, food, got, hot, hot chocolate, humor, just, marshmallow

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

2 months ago

ask, call, communication, humor, i, interaction, people, question, sarcasm, social, social interaction, sweet, sweetness
I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

2 months ago

cake, eating, food, here, humor, i, indulgence, irony, problem, seeing
I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

2 months ago

blue, blue tick, communication, exactly, humor, i, interest, leave, media, people, relationship, social, social media, texting, tick, WhatsApp
Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

2 months ago

activity, brush, conspiracy, conspiracy theory, day, day off, family, family party, fun, fun activity, humor, leisure, leisure time, party, relaxation, theory, time
What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

2 months ago

Covid, drunk, home, humor, i, learned, learning, lifestyle, productivity, remote, remote work, work
Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

3 weeks ago

acting, again, am, apology, happen, humor, i, personality, self-awareness, sorry, weird

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Twitch this month:

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

84 shares on WeChat this month:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

99 shares on Threads this month:

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

I accidentally relaxed too much, and now I don’t have enough anxiety to get stuff done.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

Going viral on Slack:

One of the weirdest things about being an adult is having a favorite stove top burner. No one ever talks about it, but y’all know it’s true.

Just shared via WeChat:

My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

Going bananas on Threads:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Live now on YouTube:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

Freshly posted on X:

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨