Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,520

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Trending via YouTube:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

Live now on Slack:

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

Trending via TikTok:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

British people be like “I was born in E-sex, grew up in Woke Ham, moved to Man Chest Hair, went to uni in Rotten Stall.”

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Making waves on X:

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

18 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Funny quote about craving comfort food with extra marshmallows for a cozy vibe.

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Commentary:
Looks like we've got a marshmallow emergency on our hands! 🍫🧑‍⚕️🔥

beverage, chocolate, comfort, comfort food, craving, diagnosis, extra, food, got, hot, hot chocolate, humor, just, marshmallow

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Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

84 shares on X this month:

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

47 shares on Slack this month:

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

38 shares on Threads this month:

A degree in international law is about as real as a degree in Dothraki.

38 shares on Discord this month:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

61 shares on Slack this month:

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

I recently discovered “movies.” They’re usually like an hour and a half long, and a pretty good way to kill time. Check it out.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

Spotted on TikTok:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

Making waves on X:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Going viral on Instagram:

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

Trending via Discord:

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Going viral on X:

You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

Going viral on Telegram:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

Seen just now on Threads:

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Canceled a date for a date with another guy, and that guy canceled. It’s what I deserve.

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Imagine being social on social media.

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Canceled a date for a date with another guy, and that guy canceled. It’s what I deserve.

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨