Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Remember, in the world of job interviews, it's a game of give and take! 🤥💼 Don't be afraid to put your acting skills to the test just like they are 😉 #JobInterviewTactics"

employment, environment, great, honesty, humor, interview, job, job interview, lie, lying, sarcasm, work, work environment, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” is my favorite story about how everyone treats you like shit until they need something from you.

0

2 weeks ago

Christmas, Christmas story, everyone, favorite, favorite story, humor, hypocrisy, need, red-nosed, Red-Nosed Reindeer, reindeer, Rudolph, sarcasm, selfishness, shit, something, story, treatment, treats
There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

0

2 months ago

app, diary, form, here, humor, humor quote, people, sarcasm, say, seeking, self-awareness, validation
If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

0

2 months ago

bedtime, child, cost, cost effective, effective, endless, endless energy, energy, humor, i, parenting, supply, tired
I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad choice, being, choice, choices, crisis, existential, existential crisis, hell, humor, infinite, infinite loop, irony, just, life, life choice, loop, real, real hell, self-doubt, stuck, think
Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

0

2 months ago

commitment, fitness, focus, gym, humor, i, irony, prison, properly, sarcasm, workout
Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

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2 months ago

activity, barbecue, cooking, fun, fun activity, humor, salad, women

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Messenger this month:

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

36 shares on X this month:

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

Cataclysmic events, such as your fingers on my skin.

88 shares on X this month:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

100 shares on Reddit this month:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Millionaires and multi-billion dollar companies be like, “We’re doing our part by asking the poor to donate to the poor.”

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Is this art or trash?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

Going viral on Discord:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

Making waves on Slack:

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

Making waves on Discord:

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

Seen just now on WeChat:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Just landed via WeChat:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” is my favorite story about how everyone treats you like shit until they need something from you.

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨