34 funny interview quotes - Wordgag

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

May 21, 2026

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

May 21, 2026

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

May 20, 2026

Job interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time?” Me: “My greatest strength is that I’m a good listener.”

May 19, 2026

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

May 19, 2026

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

May 19, 2026

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

May 19, 2026

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

May 19, 2026

Apparently, “spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

May 19, 2026

A job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.

May 19, 2026

I would really like to meet this “other candidate” who keeps taking all the jobs I’ve been applying to.

May 19, 2026

Not participating in humiliation rituals, such as job interviews or modern dating.

May 18, 2026

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

Apr 1, 2026

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

Apr 1, 2026

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

Apr 1, 2026

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

Mar 31, 2026

Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.

Mar 31, 2026

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

Mar 31, 2026

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

Mar 30, 2026

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

Mar 29, 2026

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Mar 29, 2026

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

Mar 29, 2026

In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”

Mar 28, 2026

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Mar 27, 2026

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

Mar 26, 2026

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Mar 26, 2026

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

Mar 26, 2026

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Mar 25, 2026

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

Mar 25, 2026

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Mar 25, 2026

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Mar 25, 2026

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

Mar 25, 2026

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

Mar 24, 2026

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Mar 24, 2026