Commentary:
Who needs social media when you can just post your thoughts directly into the universe? 📡🤔🌌
36 Funny lying quotes
I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.
Commentary:
😂😴 I relate, my spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!
I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.
Commentary:
Looks like my computer is the only thing getting its steps in today! 🖥️🤸♂️🛋️
I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.
Commentary:
When introvert mode is activated, even the windows join the witness protection program! 🚫🏠🙈
As you can see from my résumé, I am proficient in lying.
Commentary:
Applying for the secret service are we?
Women are actually very understanding if you’re honest with them, especially if they like you. You don’t even have to do all that lying.
Commentary:
Just trying to save everyone some creative writing time 😂📝💔
It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.
Commentary:
Sounds like my favorite activity: competitive ceiling staring! 😜🛌🌌
I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise, and then I assume that they are lying to make fun of me.
Commentary:
Just when I thought I cracked the code to self-confidence, my brain goes, "Plot twist!" 🤔😂 #TrustIssues
Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.
Commentary:
Manifesting breakfast is my new cardio routine 🍳✨ #DreamBigEatBigger
If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.
Commentary:
"Oops, my bad! Turns out my 'goodnight' had a snooze button! 😴🔄🤣"