Making her wear those remote-controlled vibrating panties in public so I can inform her when I’m tired and want to leave the party.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.