Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to appear?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Normalize booing in the workplace.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Me: Do you have the movie I want to watch? Netflix: No, but we have hundreds of movies that you don’t want to watch!

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Jan 2, 2026

3,601

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

Trending via Pinterest:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Unfortunately, when you don’t burden people with your problems, they assume you don’t have any. Lol.

Going viral on TikTok:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Breaking via Facebook:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

Making waves on YouTube:

All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

Making waves on Discord:

A murder on the dance floor would explain the panic! at the disco.

Breaking via Snapchat:

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

Men be like, “That’s my dream girl,” then ruin her perspective of love forever.

3 months ago

0

Men be like, “That’s my dream girl,” then ruin her perspective of love forever.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Dream girl status: achieved. Love perspective: permanently under construction 🚧😂

dating, dream, dream girl, forever, girl, heartbreak, humor, love, man, men, perspective, relationship, ruin

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

0

2 months ago

age, age humor, aging, body, bones, humor, joke, me, perspective, self-deprecating, still, young, youth
It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

0

2 months ago

clothing, cold, humor, men, outside, shorts, wear, winter
I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

0

2 months ago

daily, daily routine, humor, i, importance, important, introvert, morning, personality, quiet, routine, silence, think
Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

0

2 months ago

documentary, here, humor, i, irony, me, murder, person, shows, small, small town, things, town, watch
I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

0

2 months ago

end, get it together, going, humor, i, irony, pissed, real, shit, together, world
People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

0

2 months ago

always, analysis, celebrity, claim, data, day, death, die, expectation, humor, irony, love, people, unexpected

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Discord this month:

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

19 shares on Discord this month:

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

90 shares on Slack this month:

We need a better word for horny that sounds elegant and gorgeous.

16 shares on Discord this month:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

40 shares on Slack this month:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

If I unsubscribe from your email list, I definitely do not need you to send a follow-up email to confirm.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Love is in the air fryer.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,715

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

Spotted on X:

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

Live now on Reddit:

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

Just landed via Pinterest:

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

Making waves on Pinterest:

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Trending via Slack:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

Freshly posted on Discord:

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

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