Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I’m 27 and a half. I should be on my first divorce by now.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,833

Funny Quotes Topics

17,014

Funny Quotes Images

14,833

Updated

Dec 9, 2025

Users Online

4,041

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Just landed via Messenger:

I downloaded a meditation app. Now I’m stressed about missing sessions.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Breaking via X:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When my phone rings, it's either a scammer or my toaster is finally asking for relationship advice! 📞🤖🍞

call, circle, humor, i, know, loneliness, phone, phone call, rings, scammer, small, small circle, social, social circle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

4 weeks ago

adventure, blindly, comedy, dodgy, dodgy situation, Hobbit, humor, i, misadventure, risk, situation, situations, walk, walking
You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

4 weeks ago

authority, bad, boy, discipline, humor, humor quote, humor tease, joking, naughty, playful, punishment, room, tease, teasing
I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

1 month ago

bus, condition, die, fast, humor, i, joke, life, reference, speed, urgency, walk, where, wherever
You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

4 weeks ago

day, enjoy, expression, greeting, hours, humor, language, next, nice, phrase, problem, say, saying, sounds, threat, threatening, time
We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

1 month ago

change, comedy, drama, fall, humor, life, seasons, spring, summer, today, used, winter
Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

4 weeks ago

attention, attitude, confidence, entertainment, forget, give, harder, humor, motivation, never, nobody, observation, people, rivalry, sarcasm, show

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

Making waves on Instagram:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Making waves on Reddit:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Shared recently on Threads:

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I talk to myself in the same condescending tone, so you’re not special.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

I love it when God gives me money.

When someone yells stop, I don’t know if it’s in the name of love, it’s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

I need money, not feelings.

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏