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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,303

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

Just shared via YouTube:

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

Making waves on Slack:

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Making waves on X:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Live now on Facebook:

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Just landed via Facebook:

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah yes, just dropped a 'furthermore' in my email and instantly transformed into a keyboard wizard 🧙‍♂️✨✍️"

communication, confidence, email, feel, furthermore, humor, i, me, nothing, power, powerful, writing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

0

2 months ago

activity, bull, combine, competition, de, event, france, humor, next, running, should, sport, tour, Tour de France, year
Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

0

2 months ago

appointment, awkward, awkward situation, bank, call, cancel, humor, i, joke, just, say, situation, sperm, sperm bank
Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

0

2 months ago

bang, courtroom, every, hammer, humor, job, judge, little, only, people, shut, shut up, silence, where, work
The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

0

2 months ago

answer, being, calling, humor, i, number, people, phone, polls, reason, skepticism, trust, unknown, unknown number
Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

0

2 months ago

animal, annoyed, bed, carry, humor, liquid, moving, pet, sleep, struggle, trying
Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

0

2 months ago

baggage, damaged, dating, days, emotional, emotional baggage, everyone, ex, getting, getting to know, going, impossible, know, love, modern, modern love, relationship, single, someone, something

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

16 shares on Threads this month:

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

50 shades of single.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

61 shares on Threads this month:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

We need a slur for people who use ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I have more trips planned than I have money.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

Just landed via Telegram:

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Going viral on Instagram:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

Going viral on Discord:

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

Trending via WeChat:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Spotted on Instagram:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨