Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Within a week, we’ve had a major jewel heist, a mafia-involved poker ring, and sports gambling corruption. We’re living in the 1920s.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,627

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

Going viral on WeChat:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

Trending via WhatsApp:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Seen just now on Threads:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

Just landed via Slack:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Just landed via Slack:

Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

Going viral on Slack:

We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah yes, just dropped a 'furthermore' in my email and instantly transformed into a keyboard wizard 🧙‍♂️✨✍️"

communication, confidence, email, feel, furthermore, humor, i, me, nothing, power, powerful, writing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Every cat is a little celebrity to me.

0

3 months ago

animal, cat, celebrity, every, humor, little, me, pet
People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

0

4 weeks ago

baby, humor, irony, media, nobody, people, picture, post, sharing, social, social media, Spotify, Spotify Wrapped, wrapped
“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

0

5 months ago

allowed, fine, fine print, Friday, grumpy, humor, mood, print, rule, somewhere, weekend
Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

0

2 months ago

dating, humor, just, late, love, maybe, patience, relationship, schedule, soulmate
I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

0

5 months ago

coffee, drink, humor, hydration, i, iced, iced coffee, love, myself, self-care, wellness
There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

0

2 months ago

calorie, diet, disappointment, eating, expectation, food, good, humor, refund, taste

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

84 shares on X this month:

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

82 shares on YouTube this month:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

55 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

People who get 0-5 likes at max and still tweet all the time… What’s your secret?

11 shares on Telegram this month:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

D was probably like “lmao ok” when they named the alphabet the ABCs

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I’m going to hell in every religion.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

Broadcasted on X:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Just shared via WeChat:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

Making waves on WeChat:

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

Spotted on Discord:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Spotted on Snapchat:

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Every cat is a little celebrity to me.

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨