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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Unlocking new levels of iron deficiency.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,597

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Seen just now on Threads:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Shared recently on Messenger:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Just landed via Instagram:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

Spotted on YouTube:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Going viral on Messenger:

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.

Freshly posted on X:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

Playful quote about feeling confident when using "furthermore" in emails.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah yes, just dropped a 'furthermore' in my email and instantly transformed into a keyboard wizard 🧙‍♂️✨✍️"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on TikTok this month:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

78 shares on X this month:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

28 shares on X this month:

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

32 shares on YouTube this month:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,261

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Life hack: You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Like me, the weather is getting cooler around here.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Live now on Facebook:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Going viral on Instagram:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

Seen just now on Messenger:

Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I need a massage for my brain.

Live now on WhatsApp:

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

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