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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I probably think this song is about me.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,833

Funny Quotes Topics

17,014

Funny Quotes Images

14,833

Updated

Dec 9, 2025

Users Online

3,662

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

Going viral on Telegram:

Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

Trending via Messenger:

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

4 months ago

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Commentary:
That's just efficiency gym: the laziest workout that still counts! 🏋️‍♂️😅

active, activity, both, contradiction, exercise, humor, laziness, lazy, people, same, stairs, step, steps, take, time, walking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

1 month ago

advice, ChatGPT, communication, conversation, humor, me, question, stop, tech
I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

4 weeks ago

apartment, big, changes, comedy, desire, exaggeration, humor, i, laugh, size, spaciousness, want
How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

1 month ago

crisis, cult, direction, existential, existential crisis, humor, i, life, need, recruitment, self-help
You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

1 month ago

humor, Jersey, joke, know, mispronunciation, nude, play, play on words, pronounce, words
I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

4 weeks ago

anxiety, canceling, canceling plan, honesty, humor, i, introvert, invitation, invited, just, life, love, place, plan, plans, social, social anxiety, social life, want, wanted
If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

2 days ago

advice, awe, beauty, before, diversity, form, human, human form, humor, i, me, naked, picture, room, thanks

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Forced to say “it’s okay” instead of throwing a chair at them.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

Going viral on Reddit:

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

God, please, for once in my life, let me get what I want.

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

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People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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