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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New funny quotes: 6420 this month

15,818 funny quotes and pics

17,813 funny quotes topics

Updated: May 23, 2026

 

 

 

 

51 Funny both quotes

Funny both quotes are the perfect mood boosters to sprinkle a little laughter into your day! 😂 Whether you’re in need of a chuckle or just want to lighten the mood, these witty and clever sayings are your go-to secret weapons. They’ll leave you giggling and eager to share the joy with friends. Who knew words could be this fun? 😄✨ Dive into the world of humor and let the giggles begin! 🎉

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Posted onMay 23, 2026

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

The two most popular things to do on the internet are arguing about politics and looking at naked people. Million dollar website idea: combine both — naked people arguing about politics.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

A gentleman opens doors and brings flowers. A man smacks your ass and pulls your hair. A soulmate does both.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Do not estimate me.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

Posted onMay 18, 2026

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

Posted onMay 18, 2026

Smoking a cigarette and holding it with both hands.

Posted onMay 18, 2026

Women love asking you questions about the movie you both are watching.

Posted onMay 6, 2026

Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

Posted onApr 1, 2026

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

Posted onApr 1, 2026

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

Posted onApr 1, 2026

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

Posted onApr 1, 2026

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

Posted onApr 1, 2026

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

Posted onMar 30, 2026

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

Posted onMar 30, 2026

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

Posted onMar 29, 2026

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Posted onMar 28, 2026

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Posted onMar 28, 2026

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Posted onMar 28, 2026

69 but we both just farting.

Posted onMar 28, 2026

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

Posted onMar 27, 2026

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