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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Live, laugh, leftovers.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,572

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Spotted on X:

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Seen just now on Telegram:

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Making waves on Reddit:

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

Trending via TikTok:

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I didn’t see this in the Bible study guide, but I’m definitely interested in the director’s cut. 😂📖🐶

before, biblical, biblical loophole, dog, doggy, doggy style, dogs, follow, heaven, humor, joke, loophole, marriage, me, sex, sin, style

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

0

2 months ago

concern, humor, i, ID, me, meeting, personality, reflection, self, someone
Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

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2 months ago

DIY, every, floor, humor, i, loose, maintenance, odd, screw, think, thoughts, time
Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

0

5 months ago

away, girls, i, me, need, period, stay
I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

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2 months ago

behavior, humor, ID, liking, liking post, me, media, own, post, privacy, self-love, social, social media, social media behavior, watch
Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

0

2 months ago

answer, enemy, humor, life, never, outlive, resilience, struggle, suicide
It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

0

2 months ago

adventure, every, excited, excitement, get out, going, home, house, important, perspective, travel

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

63 shares on Threads this month:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Valentine’s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

A gentleman opens doors and brings flowers. A man smacks your ass and pulls your hair. A soulmate does both.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

Making waves on Slack:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Eating wings is the opposite of flying.

Just shared via X:

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Going viral on Facebook:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

Live now on YouTube:

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Seen just now on Discord:

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨