Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I don’t get enough credit for acting far less crazy than I actually am.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,774

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Live now on Messenger:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

Going bananas on Slack:

Please respond to the messages I almost sent you.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

Just landed via WeChat:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

Shared recently on Twitch:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I didn’t see this in the Bible study guide, but I’m definitely interested in the director’s cut. 😂📖🐶

before, biblical, biblical loophole, dog, doggy, doggy style, dogs, follow, heaven, humor, joke, loophole, marriage, me, sex, sin, style

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

1 month ago
adventure, explain, explanation, gap, humor, i, interview, job, job interview, missing, national, national park, park, resume
If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

1 month ago
animal, coming, communication, dog, growl, humor, i, me, try, understand, understanding, where
I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

1 month ago
arguing, argument, big, Big Mac, busy, couple, door, hiding, humor, i, mac, next, observation, trash, trash can, vegan, watching, wrapper
“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

1 month ago
AI, boss, bus, coming, coworker, done, humor, ID, jobs, office, responsibility, sarcasm, soon, throw, under, work, workplace
At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

1 month ago
bouquet, casket, crowd, dark, dark humor, funeral, humor, mortality, next, prank, take, throw
The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

1 month ago
cause, commentary, country, fixing, humor, immigration, irony, main, people, satire, social, social commentary, still, want, where, working

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, y’all.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

“Inconvenience is the cost of community,” I repeat to myself as I climb six flights of stairs for my friend’s birthday party for her cat.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Just landed via Slack:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

Making waves on Reddit:

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Easiest way to ragebait a finance bro is to start the ‘why can’t we print more money’ conversation.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

What are y’all gonna do when those labubus come to life and start biting y’alls ankles?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Chuck Norris got shot. The bullet is in critical condition.

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

Nobody talks about the privilege of having a friend who shows interest in your hyperfixations.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏