Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Not photogenic, but I probably look soooo good as a distant memory.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,630

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

Making waves on Discord:

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Trending via TikTok:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Making waves on Twitch:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Just landed via Facebook:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

Just shared via Facebook:

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

She got me to fall for her, like a boomer seeing an AI image on Facebook.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Fell for her faster than a boomer believing AI-generated selfies are the real deal! 😄📸🤖

AI, AI image, boomer, dating, Facebook, fall, falling, falling in love, gap, generation, generation gap, got, humor, image, love, me, media, seeing, social, social media, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

0

2 months ago

always, delay, humor, later, procrastinate, time, why
Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

0

2 months ago

activity, confidence, fun, fun activity, humor, i, just, mean, music, self-expression, sing
Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

0

2 months ago

always, attractive, barbecue, cooking, dating, food, forget, humor, pheromones, scent, smells
Your birthday as an adult mainly consists of texting back ‘Thanks!’ to people you haven’t talked to in 5 years.

0

3 months ago

5, adult, back, birthday, communication, humor, interaction, media, nostalgia, people, social, social interaction, social media, texting, thanks
Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

0

2 months ago

chocolate, humor, i, inside, joke, kat, kit, Kit Kat, open, physics, Schrodinger, surprise, uncertainty, wrapper
Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

0

3 months ago

absolutely, authority, behavior, buttered, buttered noodle, child, child behavior, humor, lie, nap, naps, noodle, noodles, parenting, toddler, toddlers

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Bro, you will never rewatch that 7-minute video you took of fireworks. Just live in the moment.

45 shares on Discord this month:

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

100 shares on Slack this month:

I get writer’s block responding to people.

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

If you haven’t felt old yet today, try explaining to a teenager how little kids used to sit on a phone book at dinner to be able to reach the table.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

Trending via Facebook:

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

Making waves on TikTok:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Trending via YouTube:

Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.

Making waves on Discord:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

Going viral on TikTok:

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

She got me to fall for her, like a boomer seeing an AI image on Facebook.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

Your birthday as an adult mainly consists of texting back ‘Thanks!’ to people you haven’t talked to in 5 years.

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨