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Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

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The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

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Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

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A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

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That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.