17 funny political quotes - Wordgag

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

May 22, 2026

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

May 21, 2026

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

May 20, 2026

My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.

May 20, 2026

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

May 19, 2026

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

May 19, 2026

Study international relations and political science if you watch the news and think, I’d like this to make me even more depressed.

Apr 1, 2026

Babe, you have to believe me. I followed that porn star because I like her political views.

Apr 1, 2026

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Mar 31, 2026

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

Mar 31, 2026

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

Mar 31, 2026

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

Mar 31, 2026

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Mar 30, 2026

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

Mar 30, 2026

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

Mar 30, 2026

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Mar 28, 2026

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

Mar 26, 2026