Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

One downside of marrying a doctor is you have to give up eating apples.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.