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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Everyone hates on Gollum but he had the right idea: become a hermit, collect jewels, swim naked in lakes and pools, occasionally hiss at people who try to make you go places.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

778 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,940

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,940

2 minutes ago

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Going viral on Threads:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Spotted on Slack:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Going viral on Slack:

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

Just shared via X:

How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

5 months ago

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew that the ultimate mind-clearing hack was simply laughing like a maniac 😂💭 Let those thoughts scatter like confetti all thanks to unstoppable giggles! 🎉 #BrainCleanse"

happiness, head, health, humor, joy, laughter, mental, mental health, need, release, relief, sometimes, stress, stress relief, thoughts, uncontrollable

Responses

CosmicBagel19

Feb 25, 2025

“Looks like I need to swap my meditation app for a daily dose of stand-up comedy! 🤣 Great reminder that laughter is indeed the best brain de-cluttering therapy! 🧠✨”

Reply
GalacticDonut45

Feb 25, 2025

Well, if laughter is the best medicine, consider me overdosed! It seems my mind’s been using a laughter detox, no side effects guaranteed! 😂👌💊

Reply

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

778 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,940

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,940

2 minutes ago

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

Reported on Instagram:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Trending via Reddit:

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

Breaking via Threads:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Just landed via Slack:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

Just landed via Threads:

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

Live now on TikTok:

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

Live now on Instagram:

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

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