Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,709

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Just landed via Threads:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Making waves on Telegram:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

Trending via Facebook:

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

Making waves on X:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Just landed via WeChat:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

Just shared via WeChat:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Wearing less, stressing more, all just to prove I'm not a landlocked fish! 🐠🏊‍♂️😅

activity, alive, anxiety, embarrassing, embarrassment, everyone, humor, life, social, social anxiety, survival, swimming, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw orgies.

0

2 months ago

behavior, glass, glass house, house, houses, humor, irony, orgy, party, people, social, social behavior, throw
I hate when people say “It could be worse” because it could be better, too.

0

4 days ago

better, comparison, complaint, hate, humor, i, irony, people, perspective, phrase, say, too, worse
I hope this email punches you square in the face.

0

2 months ago

communication, email, face, hope, humor, i, punch, sarcasm, square, workplace
Like most people my age, I’m 50.

0

2 months ago

50, age, humor, joke, middle, middle age, most, people
Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

0

2 months ago

athlete, cheesecake, dessert, eating, food, humor, i, irony, quark, sad, sadness, whenever
It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

0

3 weeks ago

beautiful, Christmas, complete, email, emails, getting, give, holiday, holiday season, humor, just, people, procrastination, season, sentence, time, work, year

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on X this month:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

28 shares on Threads this month:

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

The best part about having a crush is when they crush all your hopes and dreams.

Shared recently on Telegram:

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Making waves on Reddit:

A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.

Just shared via Slack:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Spotted on Reddit:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Making waves on Twitch:

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

Live now on LinkedIn:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Making waves on Threads:

The Midwest urge to have a drink on a patio as soon as it’s nice out.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw orgies.

I hate when people say “It could be worse” because it could be better, too.

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Like most people my age, I’m 50.

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨