12 funny swimming quotes - Wordgag

I missed out on drowning tragically young in a suburban swimming pool.

May 29, 2026

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

May 28, 2026

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

May 27, 2026

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

May 23, 2026

Everyone hates on Gollum but he had the right idea: become a hermit, collect jewels, swim naked in lakes and pools, occasionally hiss at people who try to make you go places.

May 22, 2026

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

May 22, 2026

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

May 22, 2026

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

May 21, 2026

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

May 21, 2026

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

May 20, 2026

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

May 19, 2026

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

May 19, 2026