Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Being smart is a curse. You see the game, the lies, the patterns, but you still gotta play dumb to survive.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,265

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Going viral on Reddit:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Making waves on Reddit:

Turns out, “unc” is short for unconstitutional.

Trending via YouTube:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Breaking via WhatsApp:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Seen just now on Reddit:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Making waves on Instagram:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

Freshly posted on Slack:

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

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Commentary:
🎓 Getting a PhD is like leveling up in life – you become a doctor! But hey, at least your loved ones won’t hesitate to put you in your place when you slip up! It’s all in good fun, right? 😂 #PhDProblems #DoctorDrama

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

39 shares on Slack this month:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

32 shares on X this month:

I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

24 shares on Discord this month:

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

40 shares on Threads this month:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I’m at work and someone asks “are you at free at the moment?”. Please expand further so I can know if I’m free or not.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I can’t go out this weekend. I went out last weekend, and I’m still recovering from that.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,678

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Never trust a man that’s good at flirting. He’s had too much practice.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

There has been a British voice in my head saying, “Bit sad innit,” for the past few weeks.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I took the road less traveled. Where am I?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Had a shower and put on clean pajamas. It was a productive day.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

Seen just now on Discord:

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

Shared recently on Facebook:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Salted, and I cannot stress this enough, butter.

Just shared via WeChat:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

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