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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,795

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

Just landed via WeChat:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Just shared via Telegram:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

Making waves on Threads:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

There’s endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it the first try.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who knew the real lyrical genius was a preschool songwriter? 🎶🚌 #OneHitWonder

bus, endless, first try, humor, just, life, love, music, only, pain, show, song, songs, try, wheel, wheels

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

1 month ago
appearance, beauty, effort, humor, know, looking, much, regular, self-deprecation, vanity
Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

2 months ago
belief, billions, existence, humor, irony, nobody, question, superpowers
For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

1 month ago
birthday, delete, everyone, expired, head, humor, i, joke, me, old, old version, self-deprecating, self-improvement, version, want, whatever
If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

1 month ago
after, election, failed, failure, humor, people, person, politics, rich, rich person, satire, upset
Sharing wired earphones is a forgotten form of intimacy.

3 months ago
communication, earphone, earphones, form, humor, intimacy, nostalgia, relationship, sharing, technology, wired
Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

1 month ago
awkwardness, funny moment, humor, just, karaoke, moment, motionless, panther, performance, pink, Pink Panther, song, stage, standing, theme, theme song, time

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

Just shared via Reddit:

I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

Just landed via Instagram:

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

Live now on X:

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

Breaking via Discord:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Going bananas on Reddit:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

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Activity Log ✨

There’s endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it the first try.

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

Shorts should be half the price of pants.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

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There’s endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it the first try.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

Sharing wired earphones is a forgotten form of intimacy.

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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