Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,248

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

Just shared via Discord:

Ummmm, no, I don’t watch ‘Instagram Reels.’ I have TikTok. I like to get my brain damage directly from the original source.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

Just landed via Twitch:

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

Making waves on TikTok:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m not a 10. I’m more like two 5s held together by cheese and chocolate.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

Just landed via X:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

0
They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.
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Commentary:
Oh, absolutely! We definitely need a Sunday that doesn't vanish in the blink of an eye! 🕰️☀️ Maybe we can call it "Sund-ayyyy" – a day so long, you might even have time for a second brunch! 🥞🍳🤣 #MakeSundaysGreatAgain

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on X this month:

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

93 shares on Threads this month:

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

35 shares on X this month:

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

88 shares on X this month:

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,456

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Being in a rich person’s house is so stressful. Like, why am I struggling to find the trash?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

Live now on Reddit:

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

This football season, we need to bring back getting drunk and calling in to your team’s local radio show after the game. Such a lost art.

Making waves on YouTube:

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Just landed via TikTok:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

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