Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

90% of debugging is just realizing your own stupidity in slow motion.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

In every imagination I have pictured myself in, I’m never poor.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,495

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

Spotted on Pinterest:

They’re making me do work at work.

Breaking via Threads:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Breaking via Telegram:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Making waves on Discord:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

Just landed via X:

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Going bananas on Instagram:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

Breaking via Facebook:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who knew "growth" meant a promotion to chief stress officer? 😂💼🔝

career, clear, growth, humor, i, level, levels, looking, meant, money, said, salary, stress, stress level, work, workload

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

0

2 months ago

casual, commitment, conversation, dating, end, humor, love, marriage, proposal, relationship, someone, tell
Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

0

2 months ago

drink, every, feel, feeling, hangover, humor, i, just, morning, realize, self-deprecating, think, wake, wake up
Behind every beautiful woman is either tummy issues, low iron, or poor eyesight.

0

4 months ago

beautiful, beauty, behind, every, eyesight, health, humor, iron, issue, issues, low, low iron, poor, tummy, tummy issue, woman
Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

0

2 months ago

coping, coping mechanism, emotional, emotional response, health, humor, lashing, lashing out, loved, loved ones, making, mechanism, mental, mental health, new, ones, relief, resentment, response, stress, stress relief
One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

0

2 months ago

able, adulting, being, boundary, excuse, mom, over, said, say, someone, sucks, thing, visitor, want
Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

0

2 months ago

baby, curiosity, humor, innocence, know, observation, somewhere, stare, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Reddit this month:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

14 shares on Discord this month:

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

30 shares on X this month:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

29 shares on Telegram this month:

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

69 shares on Reddit this month:

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Instagram is run by celebrities. Twitter is run by the streets.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Going viral on WeChat:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

Spotted on Slack:

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

Just landed via Slack:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

Breaking via Messenger:

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

Behind every beautiful woman is either tummy issues, low iron, or poor eyesight.

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨