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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

I am losing touch with reality and I couldn’t be happier.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Netflix & by yourself.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,406

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

Trending via TikTok:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

Just landed via X:

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

Trending via Pinterest:

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

Making waves on Slack:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

Going viral on Discord:

Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

Making waves on WeChat:

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who knew "growth" meant a promotion to chief stress officer? 😂💼🔝

career, clear, growth, humor, i, level, levels, looking, meant, money, said, salary, stress, stress level, work, workload

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

0

2 months ago

blowing, chat, communication, distraction, frustration, group, group chat, humor, nothing, patience, phone, tests, texting
Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

0

5 months ago

comparison, condiment, derogatory, explain, food, food humor, funny comparison, honey, hot, hot honey, humor, know, pickleball, slang
I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

0

2 months ago

away, chores, experience, feel, grocery, humor, i, kids, never, parenting, put, recovery, take, today, traumatic, traumatic experience
I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

0

2 months ago

20, aging, bad, bad eating habit, body, body image, eating, exercise, habit, habits, hate, humor, humorous, humorous observation, i, image, myself, no exercise, observation, picture, self-awareness, selfie, take
I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

0

2 months ago

believe, good, humor, i, night, rest, rush, sleep, surprise
Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

0

2 months ago

animal, dog, gangsta, humor, patience, pet, poop, wait, waiting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Discord this month:

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

64 shares on X this month:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

August is technically summer, but spiritually fall.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

53 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

77 shares on Threads this month:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Trending via Instagram:

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

Breaking via Reddit:

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

Spotted on Slack:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

Just landed via YouTube:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

Making waves on Slack:

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨