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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,799

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

Going viral on YouTube:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Shared recently on Messenger:

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

Shared recently on Facebook:

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

Going bananas on YouTube:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

Going viral on Reddit:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

5 months ago

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Commentary:
Ah, the 40s—the decade where your back decides to play a fun game of "Guess the Trigger"! 🎯😅✨

40s, age, aging, back, back pain, every, flare-up, health, humor, know, middle, middle age, never, pain, random, random pain, time, welcome

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

1 month ago
freaky, having, humor, intimacy, nasty, person, relationship, same, sex, time
What’s a beginner hobby for someone just getting into being happy?

1 month ago
beginner, beginner hobby, being, getting, getting started, happiness, happy, hobby, humor, just, question, self-improvement, someone, started
“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

1 month ago
humor, i, irony, life, misunderstanding, prison, relationship, rest, sarcasm, understanding, want, witty
Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

1 month ago
age, always, bit, growth, humor, individuality, me, older, people, personality, self-awareness, strange
Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

1 month ago
comedy, confidence, Funny, humor, know, much, resilience, self-deprecating, trauma
I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

1 month ago
ancestry, bad, current, enough, family, fascination, humor, i, knowing, never, understand, understanding

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

My dad called my philosophy degree a “license for unemployment.”

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Just landed via YouTube:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Seen just now on Facebook:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

Going bananas on TikTok:

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

Trending via Threads:

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

Spotted on Telegram:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

What’s a beginner hobby for someone just getting into being happy?

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

You’re so productive for your wage.

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

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Activity Log ✨

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

What’s a beginner hobby for someone just getting into being happy?

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏