Commentary:
When you tweet, it’s like a game of "Who Wants to Be a Critic?" starring everyone! 🎭📲
38 Funny random quotes
Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.
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Ah, the 40s—the decade where your back decides to play a fun game of "Guess the Trigger"! 🎯😅✨
They should make a biopic of just some random guy.
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When life gives you lemons, make a biopic about the guy who bought them 🍋🎬😂
Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.
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Silence is golden, and I'm basically Fort Knox! 😂🤐💰
If life was a video game, right now would be the time where I randomly press buttons because I don’t know what to do.
Commentary:
When life puts you on expert mode, but you can't find the 'save game' option 🤪🎮🔄
Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.
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"Oh yeah, I'm definitely qualified to ghost my own job interview! 👻📞😂"
The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.
Commentary:
Looks like even the universe couldn't resist throwing in some buggy DLC! 🤷♂️🦷✨
You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.
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When you become the neighborhood car monitor, and all you got is your porch and judgy eyes! 🚗👀🧓😆
I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.
Commentary:
Strangers: the surprise piñatas of perspective shifts 🎉🤔✨
I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.
Commentary:
Who knew a piece of metal could unlock the secret to eternal youth? 🔩😂🎉