Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,833

Funny Quotes Topics

17,014

Funny Quotes Images

14,833

Updated

Dec 9, 2025

Users Online

3,805

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

Spotted on X:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Going viral on WeChat:

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Making waves on X:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When did life switch to "Extreme Morning Edition"? 😂⏰💤

alarm, alarm clock, clock, hit, humor, i, life, morning, procrastination, snooze, wish, wishing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

1 month ago

animal, animal behavior, behavior, cat, cats, funny observation, harvesting, humor, observation, pets, poop, think, weird
Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

4 months ago

asleep, better, book, even, everyone, middle, nice, night, peaceful, quiet, reading, relaxation, sleep, solitude, therapy
“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

2 weeks ago

advice, best, casual, casual tone, dishwasher, dishwasher safe, humor, just, kitchen, ok, safe, safety, tone, warning
I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

4 weeks ago

awesome, coffee, confidence, evolution, humor, i, motivation, need, positivity, self-improvement, state
The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

4 weeks ago

birthday, cake, celebration, follow, friends, friendship, fun, hack, humor, joke, life, life hack, me, means, party
Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

1 month ago

20s, 30s, choices, decisions, grow, growth, humans, humor, life, life choices, makeup, new, poor, should, teeth, thirty, twenty

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

Going viral on Facebook:

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

Making waves on Twitch:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

Trending via WeChat:

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏