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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Have you tried complaining about it?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,695

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

I woke up again, it’s pathetic how much death fears me.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

All I want I for Christmas is to go to the mall in 1986.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

Shared recently on Discord:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

Just shared via Discord:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the prestigious Insomniac Overthinker's Club has gained another member! 🎉😴🤔 #OverthinkingChampion"

bro, control, humor, i, insomnia, late, late night, night, over, overthinking, relatable, staying, staying up, stress, things, tired, yes

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

0

2 months ago

always, annoyance, close, even, fluffiness, fluffy, hotel, humor, i, packing, suitcase, thick, towel, towels, travel, worst
Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

0

3 months ago

daily, daily routine, day, distraction, humor, media, monitor, need, reminder, routine, scrolling, situation, social, social media
Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

0

2 months ago

alarm, bed, drug, police, sleep
Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

0

3 months ago

Beyoncé, broke, broken, broken down, car, case, celebrity, cleaned, cleaning, close, house, humor, just, preparation, room, sleep, somewhere
Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

0

2 months ago

appearance, dating, funny observation, humor, just, marriage, need, observation, people, relationship, self-similarity, stop, wig
Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

0

2 months ago

activity, day, detox, digital, digital detox, friends, fun, fun activity, grass, gutted, health, mental, mental health, nature, offline, outdoor, outdoor activity, report, socializing, spending, touching, touching grass

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Slack this month:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

40 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

63 shares on X this month:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Seen just now on TikTok:

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

Just shared via YouTube:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

Just shared via Discord:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

Live now on TikTok:

People should come with warning labels.

Spotted on Instagram:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

Trending via WeChat:

My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

Making waves on Snapchat:

You should be allowed to call out of work if you have a really bad nightmare.

Spotted on Threads:

Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨