Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • 5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.
  • Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.
  • It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”
  • Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.
  • People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.
  • My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.