Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.
  • Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.
  • When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.
  • Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.
  • It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.
  • Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.