A friend of mine decided to cut all the toxic people out of his life, or so I was informed. Posted onMay 18, 2026 by slickboy in Funny Quotes 💾 Save Image Commentary:Sounds like everyone checked their phones for a text from him ππ±βοΈ Related funny posts π€ Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they βcanβt make it to the phone right now.β You carry the phone with you. Itβs the only constant in your life. A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best. I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money. The only person I ever call is my wife, and thatβs just when weβre trying to find her phone. I wish people had mute buttons in real life.