Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Imagine being social on social media.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Guys, stop showering. I need the water for ChatGPT.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,708

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

Spotted on Snapchat:

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

Breaking via Messenger:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Just shared via Discord:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

Spotted on X:

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Trending via Snapchat:

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

1 month ago

Playful quote highlighting a toddler's surprising independence and mischief in a humorous way.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like toddlers have mastered time management and chaos creation all at once! 😅🍼💥

behavior, chaos, child, child behavior, daily, daily life, day, humor, life, minute, most, people, productivity, toddler, unsupervised, unsupervised minute

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Twitch this month:

The best addition to any essay is, of course, a condescending tone.

69 shares on Slack this month:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

87 shares on X this month:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

30 shares on Discord this month:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

47 shares on X this month:

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

Seen just now on Messenger:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

When the weather gets warmer, I will become unstoppable. As long as it doesn’t get too warm, then I will be stoppable.

Making waves on Reddit:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I am deeply overwhelmed and yet incredibly bored at the same time.

Spotted on Facebook:

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

Just landed via WeChat:

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

Seen just now on TikTok:

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

Keep the laugh going 😂

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨