Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Songs discovered from movies are usually a masterpiece.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

AirPods are hungry for earwax. It’s your job to feed them.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

When you’re using Grok, the A in Al just stands for Adolf.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,300

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Live now on Discord:

Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.

Just shared via Threads:

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

Spotted on X:

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

Going viral on Instagram:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

Going viral on YouTube:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

Just landed via Pinterest:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like toddlers have mastered time management and chaos creation all at once! 😅🍼💥

behavior, chaos, child, child behavior, daily, daily life, day, humor, life, minute, most, people, productivity, toddler, unsupervised, unsupervised minute

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

0

2 months ago

everyday, everyday life, gratitude, grocery, grocery list, humor, journal, life, list, looks, lot, sarcasm
If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

0

2 months ago

comparison, confidence, cooler, hotter, humor, me, means, self-esteem, witty
My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

0

3 months ago

again, appliance, belief, boomer, boomer belief, humor, malfunctioning, malfunctioning appliance, most, problem, problem-solving, slapping, solving, work
When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

0

2 months ago

ask, client, communication, confusion, creativity, design, humor, i, means, mind, myself, pop, project
If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

0

2 months ago

activity, bell, flirt, fun, holiday, humor, jingle, playful
Never skip the footnotes – it’s here you find out who made the author angry enough to write the article.

0

2 months ago

anger, angry, article, author, footnote, here, humor, never, reading, research, skip, writing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Instagram this month:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

41 shares on X this month:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

64 shares on Discord this month:

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

64 shares on X this month:

Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.

31 shares on Threads this month:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

73 shares on Slack this month:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

Just shared via YouTube:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

Going viral on Messenger:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Spotted on Messenger:

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

Just shared via Twitch:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Making waves on YouTube:

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Never skip the footnotes – it’s here you find out who made the author angry enough to write the article.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨