Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

The year flies by when you’re scrolling.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

The best part about having a crush is when they crush all your hopes and dreams.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,695

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

Breaking via Facebook:

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Going bananas on Discord:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I ain’t typing “X” into the URL bar, my wife is right behind me.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

0
“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, it seems like "charming honesty" has its limits when it comes to job interviews! 🍸💃 Guess it's time to swap those weaknesses for something a bit more work-appropriate, like saying you're "too detail-oriented" or "overly passionate about excel spreadsheets." Remember, save the fun stuff for the office holiday party! 😉

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Twitch this month:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

76 shares on Discord this month:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

77 shares on Reddit this month:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

95 shares on TikTok this month:

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Every cat is a little celebrity to me.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,459

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

You can tell a lot about someone based on which Spice Girl they were most attracted to.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

If you sit down to play a game of chess and your opponent punches you in the face, you’re not going to prevail by getting better at chess.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Live, laugh, leftovers.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

Going viral on Threads:

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

Just landed via Facebook:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Just shared via Instagram:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Live now on Telegram:

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

Making waves on Instagram:

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Unpopular opinion: a honeymoon is more needed 5 to 10 years down the road, versus right after getting married.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴