Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Taking therapy to a whole new level: from patient to therapist hunter! 🦸‍♂️💥 Final boss defeat achieved – My life may be a trainwreck, but at least I'm the conductor! 🚂😂"

boss, defeat, final, health, humor, i, jokes, life, mental, mental health, same, self-improvement, therapist, therapy, thing, trainwreck

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

0

3 months ago

AI, brushing, brushing teeth, conservation, corporation, environment, faucet, humor, i, ruin, spend, teeth, turning, water, water conservation, while
I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

0

2 months ago

frustration, humor, i, invoice, management, people, sarcasm, time, time management, wasting, wasting time, wish, work
I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

0

2 months ago

am, cold, exaggeration, goodbye, guess, humor, i, illness, man, sadness
If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

0

2 months ago

die, diet, eat, exercise, fit, fitness, health, humor, irony, life, lifestyle, well
Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

0

2 months ago

AI, automation, business, communication, deal, deals, emails, everyone, future, humor, just, know, let, point, talk, technology, tell, texts, time, well
Most earthquakes could have been an email.

0

2 months ago

communication, earthquake, earthquakes, efficiency, email, humor, sarcasm, technology, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Threads this month:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

16 shares on Slack this month:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

82 shares on X this month:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Twitch:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Spotted on LinkedIn:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

Breaking via Snapchat:

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Just landed via Slack:

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

Spotted on Facebook:

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨