Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Taking therapy to a whole new level: from patient to therapist hunter! 🦸‍♂️💥 Final boss defeat achieved – My life may be a trainwreck, but at least I'm the conductor! 🚂😂"

boss, defeat, final, health, humor, i, jokes, life, mental, mental health, same, self-improvement, therapist, therapy, thing, trainwreck

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

11 hours ago

activity, freedom, going, going outside, invent, looking, observation, outdoor, outdoor activity, outside, people, personal, personal space, privacy, should, social, social observation, solitude, space
Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

3 months ago

daily, daily mood, days, disapproval, head, head shake, humor, mood, myself, self-criticism, self-deprecating, shake, shaking
I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

2 months ago

able, complaint, eat, eating, food, huge, humor, hunger, i, meal, month, shit, should, snake, sucks
Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

1 week ago

apology, communication, humor, i, just, left, mean, message, open, procrastination, read, sorry, text
I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

2 weeks ago

absurdity, bicycle, bicycle horn, cacophony, clown, having, horn, humor, ID, imagination, imagine, just, sex, sound
Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

11 hours ago

am, animal, better, comparison, daily, daily life, day, dog, every, happiness, having, head, humor, i, joy, know, life, pet, time, window

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Twitch this month:

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

60 shares on Threads this month:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

Telling her parents you creampie her daily is socially unacceptable. But telling them you’re trying for a baby is a cause for celebration.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

My problem is, I wanna be the only one at the gym when I go.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Just landed via YouTube:

time heals all wounds.” Wrong! Time is chasing me with a knife.

Spotted on Discord:

Deleted all my dating apps. I’m ready to find the love of my life in World of Warcraft.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Going viral on Instagram:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Going bananas on Messenger:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

Keep the laugh going 😂

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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