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They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

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Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

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Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

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Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

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Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

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Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

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Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

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I need money, not feelings.

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Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

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Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.