Trendy Funny Quotes

  • My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.
  • If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”
  • I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”
  • I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.
  • Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.
  • Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.