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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,532

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Trending via Facebook:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

Just landed via TikTok:

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Going viral on Reddit:

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

Seen just now on Slack:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

You will watch an old classic movie that kind of sucks. Then, on the IMDb trivia, it says, this was the first time a film director ever pointed the camera at the sun.

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

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Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.
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Commentary:
"Mission accomplished if you get a smile! If they block you… well, at least you're memorable! 😄🚫😂"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Telegram this month:

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

49 shares on Discord this month:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

92 shares on Slack this month:

If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

17 shares on X this month:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

13 shares on X this month:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulting is only fun when you have the funds.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,451

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Freshly posted on Threads:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Going bananas on TikTok:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

Making waves on Reddit:

Microdosing Christmas by being present.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

Shared recently on Slack:

Nothing gets my heart pumping like receiving an annoying newsletter.

Just landed via YouTube:

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Spotted on YouTube:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

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