Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,699

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on TikTok:

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Just shared via TikTok:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Going bananas on Threads:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Just shared via Telegram:

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

Going viral on Instagram:

I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I feel this in my soul…and my untoned abs! 😂🔥🍔

body, body care, care, eat, eat right, health, hot, humor, i, ID, imagination, imagine, right, self, self-care

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

0

2 months ago

am, comedy, dessert, diet, food, food joke, humor, i, italian, Italian food, joke, just, leaving, pasta, pizza, speak, where, wordplay
The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

0

2 months ago

before, best, day, hours, humor, i, minutes, mobile, procrastination, relaxation, sleep, spend, time
How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

0

2 months ago

age, awareness, humor, matrix, old, others, perception, realization
Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

0

2 months ago

awesome, coffee, day, going, humor, i, know, listen, morning, morning routine, motivation, routine, self-awareness, today
If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

0

2 months ago

challenge, clever, difficult, humor, i, math, me, online, post, problem, problems, solve, statistic, too
Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

0

2 months ago

cool, everyday, fun, having, humor, job, routine, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Slack this month:

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

65 shares on Discord this month:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

62 shares on Discord this month:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

None of this matters and we are all going to die. Have a great weekend!

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Currently accepting DMs from any man with a sturdy bunker on his property.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

Just landed via Telegram:

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I regret to inform you that we must all once again figure out what to make for dinner tonight.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

Making waves on Telegram:

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

Seen just now on X:

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

Shared recently on Discord:

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨