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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,327

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

Just landed via Messenger:

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

Spotted on WeChat:

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Trending via Reddit:

No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

Making waves on Facebook:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Spotted on Slack:

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

Just landed via X:

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

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Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?
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Commentary:
I feel this in my soul…and my untoned abs! 😂🔥🍔

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

53 shares on Discord this month:

You know the nap is good when it left you marks.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

36 shares on Telegram this month:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

58 shares on Slack this month:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

83 shares on X this month:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

20 shares on Discord this month:

Might start signing off emails with, “But what do I know.”

47 shares on YouTube this month:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

22 shares on X this month:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

But that was my emotional support daylight.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion is actually pretty concerned right now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,482

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

On a first date, saying “agree to disagree” every time they share anything about themselves.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

Making waves on Slack:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

Just shared via Telegram:

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

Shared recently on Telegram:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Accept the truth that a clean kitchen and finished laundry are just myths. Embrace the chaos and find your inner calm.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Spotted on Facebook:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Shared recently on X:

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

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