Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.