Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Are you just gonna go with the flow until you spiral down the drain?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,016

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

Making waves on Discord:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

Seen just now on Slack:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

Going viral on X:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

Breaking via X:

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

Checking my iced coffee rewards points like it’s my 401k.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When caffeine becomes your financial planner! ☕💸😅

401k, addiction, caffeine, caffeine addiction, checking, coffee, coffee lover, comparison, finance, finance humor, funny comparison, humor, iced, iced coffee, lover, personal, personal finance, point, reward, reward point, rewards

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

1 month ago
backfire, fatigue, humor, me, morning, morning struggle, relatable, sleep, struggle, times, waking, waking up
You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

1 month ago
cooking, creativity, food, humor, kitchen, lettuce, rule-breaking, rules, salad, want
These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

1 month ago
act, awkwardness, clothing, humor, laundromat, never, people, public, Speedo, surprise
If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

1 month ago
break, buy, hitman, house, humor, joke, lifetime, manufacturer, repair, send, something, warranty
According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

1 month ago
around, caffeine, condition, deficiency, humor, life, life threatening, people, threatening, web
Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

1 month ago
always, chore, household, humor, laundry, lurking, most, relatable, sinister, tasks, waiting

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

Making waves on Messenger:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Breaking via Twitch:

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

Shared recently on Twitch:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Checking my iced coffee rewards points like it’s my 401k.

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

Checking my iced coffee rewards points like it’s my 401k.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏