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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Welcome to your 40’s: oh you like surprises? here’s another chin. Surprise!

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

You’re really hot. Wanna share microplastics?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,696

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Making waves on WeChat:

I love having plans to cancel.

Going viral on Messenger:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Checking my iced coffee rewards points like it’s my 401k.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When caffeine becomes your financial planner! ☕💸😅

401k, addiction, caffeine, caffeine addiction, checking, coffee, coffee lover, comparison, finance, finance humor, funny comparison, humor, iced, iced coffee, lover, personal, personal finance, point, reward, reward point, rewards

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

0

2 months ago

celebration, December, end, festivity, holidays, humor, irony, reflection
Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

0

2 months ago

focus, fun, humor, i, quit, summer, vacation
I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

0

2 months ago

ad, ad break, adrenaline, away, back, break, call, childhood, excitement, feel, furniture, high, high stakes, i, kids, know, Netflix, never, nostalgia, over, racing, running, screaming, send, sibling, sorry, stakes, time, TV
Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

0

2 months ago

area, area code, calls, code, codes, comedy, dating, different, exhausting, exhaustion, having, humor, phone, phone calls, relationship, romance, sounds, travel
The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

0

2 months ago

announcer, belonging, belongings, forgetfulness, home, humor, just, keep, left, mine, personal, personal belonging, should, times, train, travel, us
My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, fear, film, flashlight, health, horror, horror film, humor, mental, mental health, reliability

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Messenger this month:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

26 shares on Discord this month:

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

50 shares on X this month:

There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

57 shares on Threads this month:

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

I just be giggling, then start thinking about bills and remember ain’t nothing funny.

Live now on WeChat:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

Freshly posted on Slack:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Just shared via Facebook:

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

Shared recently on TikTok:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Just landed via YouTube:

I need a new hobby that costs zero dollars and takes up 100% of my free time. So far, all I’ve come up with is mowing the lawn.

Shared recently on X:

My boss denied me a raise before my shift today. What’s some music you have never wanted to hear in a coffee shop?

Trending via TikTok:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Making waves on Facebook:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Checking my iced coffee rewards points like it’s my 401k.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨