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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Eating wings is the opposite of flying.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

The week be like Mooonnnday, Tueeesday, Weeeeednesday, Thuuuuursday, FriSatSun

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,730

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

Making waves on Discord:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Going bananas on X:

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I am not in a good place, geographically.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Shared recently on X:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Trending via Slack:

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Overthinking: When your brain goes on strike but your dumb decisions refuse to take a vacation 🧠🚫⛱️ #StruggleIsReal"

choices, decision, decisions, dumb, dumb decision, frustration, humor, i, irony, life, life choices, making, overthinking, self-reflection, still

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

0

6 months ago

apple, cloud, cloud storage, data, delete, digital, digital life, every, humor, just, life, millennial, monthly, monthly payment, paying, payment, storage, subscription, technology
I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

0

2 months ago

craving, eating, food, humor, i, indulgence, just, know, snack
Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

0

2 months ago

activity, back, bring, fun, fun activity, give, i, kid, nostalgia, parenting, payphone, petition, phone, place, places, public, public place, quarter, technology, want
This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

0

5 months ago

beverage, caffeine, coffee, frustration, humor, i, morning, need, sarcasm
I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

0

2 months ago

childhood, commercial, happy, happy meal, humor, i, meal, memory, miss, nostalgia, problem, toy
I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

0

4 months ago

exercise, going, here, humor, i, just, mouth, procrastination, run, running, talking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

13 shares on Discord this month:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

45 shares on X this month:

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

97 shares on Messenger this month:

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

21 shares on Threads this month:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

71 shares on Slack this month:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Bok Choy is a dope name for a vegetable.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨