Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,704

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

We decided to have money instead of children.

Trending via Facebook:

I need a vaccine against overthinking.

Live now on Pinterest:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

Shared recently on Discord:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Breaking via Messenger:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

Just shared via X:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

Going viral on Reddit:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

Making waves on Slack:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Achieving this mythical level of productivity deserves its own superhero comic series 🦸‍♀️🦸‍♂️🧺✨

away, chore, daily, daily chore, day, dry, exist, fold, humor, laundry, manage, management, people, put, put away, question, same, time, time management, wash

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

0

2 months ago

child, friend, God, humor, only, parenting, relationship, test
Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

0

2 months ago

being, coding, debugging, detective, humor, movie, normal, problem-solving, programming, self-talk, talking, where, yourself
It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

0

2 months ago

ease, humor, ignorance, irony, problem, simplicity, solution, suggestion
I would prefer not to.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, indifference, preference, procrastination, refusal
I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

0

2 months ago

General, humor, military, never, salute, sarcasm, settings, tech, tech humor
When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

0

2 months ago

audience, bad, bad joke, comedy, follow, follow up, good, humor, i, joke, land, laughter, performance, punchline, realize, tell, timing, worse

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on WeChat this month:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

I get writer’s block responding to people.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

My mirror needs a screenshot button.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

Shared recently on Facebook:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Breaking via Snapchat:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Seen just now on Threads:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Going viral on X:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

Going viral on Discord:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Just shared via WeChat:

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

Trending via TikTok:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

I would prefer not to.

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨