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Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s only a family vacation if you think “We’re never doing this again” at least once.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,012

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

Live now on Instagram:

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Going viral on YouTube:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

Going viral on Facebook:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

Going viral on Reddit:

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Sounds like a perfect balance between chaos and calm! Just make sure to set a timer for those sanity swaps! 😂🤪🕰️

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

1 month ago
chat, communication, every, group, group chat, humor, introvert, me, media, messaging, never, participant, person, self-deprecating, silent, silent participant, social, social media, texting
I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

5 months ago
adult, adults, child, freak, got, humor, i, kind, kindness, little, old, old soul, sad, sadness, saying, self-deprecation, soul, think
I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

1 month ago
day, end, found, frustration, humor, i, irony, left, patience, time, waiting
Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

1 month ago
baby, crying, day, dude, grocery, grocery store, hard, humor, i, life, little, over, parenting, relatable, store
I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

1 month ago
always, corrected, footwear, humor, i, misconception, orthopaedic, orthopaedic shoe, pun, shoe, stand, thought
New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

1 month ago
commentary, Covid, humor, new, podcast, quarantine, randomness, social, social commentary, subscription, variant

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

My spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I just realized boobytrap backwards spells partyboob.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

Seen just now on Facebook:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

Just shared via Reddit:

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

Live now on YouTube:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Just shared via Telegram:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

Going viral on Facebook:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

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Activity Log ✨

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Never trust a wet fart.

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

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Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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